What is it about our society that takes pride in being busy, in being stressed, in being overwhelmed? Why do we brag to each other about how little sleep we got? Why do we choose to take on more tasks, fulfill more expectations, participate more, do more? Why do we do it? Why, people, why?
I know, for one, that I do not enjoy being tired. I don’t like being stressed, or having headaches, or getting anxiety attacks. Even the glory of being more stressed out than those around me, though it is satisfying in its own perverted way, is not worth it. I would much rather spend my days in peace and quiet and wellness.
This last two weeks of my life, unfortunately, has been full of the former rather than the latter. I have been working more than usual, attempting to organize our upcoming move, and planning our wedding, too… and every time I think about any one of those three things, I get nasty little anxiety pains in my stomach. And here’s what I’ve realized: the problem is just as much in my reaction to the busyness as it is in the busyness itself. I let myself get worked up by the difficulties of my job, indignant of inconsiderate coworkers and hurt by mean customers. I treat our move as a minefield of potential disasters rather than a chance to start over. I look at my to-do list for the wedding, and, instead of happily tackling one task at a time, I fret about the sheer number of items (73, by the way). And as a result, I’m a snappy, headache-y, isolated stressball. And I do not like it, not at all.
So, instead, I choose wellness. I choose to breathe, I choose to forgive, I choose to let go of my worries. I choose to be full of peace, even if my life is a blur of motion right now.
That is what I choose.
p.s. photo found here.